Compositions of Exposure

Late nights.. that bled into early mornings. For my Women:

I’ve spent a good portion of my week talking to women.

Strong women, who feel weak.

Weak because of their work situation… their love situation. Their Life situation.

If you feel like you encapsulate any one of these categories, I’m here to remind you… that you aren’t weak.

That are you’re amazing, you’re lovely.
You are fucking Beautiful…

and you’re more than your whack ass dude…. or your shitty job..

you are better than you will ever give yourself credit for.

and if anyone in your life doesn’t see or value your worth…. fuck them…

They aren’t, nor will they ever be, worth your time.

Be around people who cherish you. People who hold you up. Who are genuinely about it.

And if you ever forget… You have my number…

Call me anytime.

Spring/Summer Cleaning

I’ve been overextending myself lately. Calling more, reaching out more. Making myself appear eager, when all I want is genuine friendships, honest relationships.

Maybe I care more, maybe not. Maybe they’re scared, maybe we all are.

It’s tiring. So much so that I’m really close to letting go of those relationships, no matter how enjoyable they are.

They do not serve me beyond the now. They do not initiate, or try enough to make me feel that there is a genuine reciprocity there.

Rule of thumb, call sometime, communicate first, check in, invest more.. The act of doing, will always say much more than your words.

An Invitation to Be Real Friends.

Dear ___________,
I know I only met you momentarily
I know we only talk occasionally.
But I want more.
To know more… to hear more.
To give more.
I want you to drive…
I’ll meet you half way.
Let’s have breakfast in Big Sur.
Take a nap in the shade and sleep under the stars.

Sincerely,
me

After four hours of sleep and 6 hours of work… I need a bed and a hug…. Or a good cup of coffee.

Do you know where I can find one?

thank

you.

to all the senders
of late night calls
and early morning messages.
to the people
who share momentary
murmurings
and extended inquiries.
to the friends
who give, just as much as they take.
who don’t see relationships
as an inconvenience.
who require holding just as much as
leaning.
who call just to see if you’re ok
once a month.
once a week.
everyday.

thank you.
thank you.
thank
you.

mothers day.

today i called her.
she said hello, and i wished her a happy mothers day.
she told me how she was doing.
i told her how my life was going.
she asked me about my future.
i told her i was moving.
that i was unsure. that i felt lost.
her voice became heavy.
her tone ached.
she apologized.
i don’t think i ever felt a sorry so painful in my life.
she wished more for me
i couldn’t help but break.
so she let go.
if only not hurt us more.

You, Tania, are my chaos. It is why I sing. It is not even I, it is the world dying, shedding the skin of time. I am still alive, kicking in your womb, a reality to write upon.
-Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer)