Compositions of Exposure

“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:32:21 -0700

“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…….and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

Andrea Gibson

I hate my indecisiveness. That visceral feeling of my mind being dragged away from my body into...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:23:03 -0700

I hate my indecisiveness.
That visceral feeling of my mind being dragged
away from my body into dissonant places,
Its cravings attaching itself along distant walls… unable to allow each piece to reconnect back into something whole.
I would like to feel sure of something (good) for once in my life.

Maybe being sure requires more faith than exists within me.
I question to much, I’m too demanding. My expectations are too lofty that all I do is exhaust every possibly instead of feeling reassured by what’s in front of me.

Or maybe I haven’t experienced anything definitive enough to change my indecision….

Yuck.

This evening ached. More than most. It’s reminder being all the more reason to understand that the...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 00:50:46 -0700

This evening ached.
More than most.
It’s reminder being all the more reason to understand that the choices I’ve made have a purpose.
That the most painful things are usually the most honest.
The most genuine…
Our most sincere compass that will direct us towards where we need to be.
…… To be continued…

where are you at ???doing what ????

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:21:53 -0700

Text me. You might get a faster response. :-/

so where is the pix of you dancing on the pole..Love to see that

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:20:49 -0700

You might be able to find one on Facebook.

Let me guess whow is that for Eric???You dont seen to forget him at all!

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:20:27 -0700

Which post are you talking about? Yes, Eric is a permanent fixture in my life. He is my best friend. My family. My brother. I love him dearly.
As a friend. That is all.

Honey where did you go? Are you on vacations???and where did you go and for how long???

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:18:33 -0700

Approaching NY as we speak. Will be gone for 11 days. Will be back in LA after that. Get at me.

what are you up too i have not seen you in along time maybe we could go dance some salsa .

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:17:11 -0700

Yes please. Call me sometime.

Brunch.

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:14:53 -0700

Could you blame her for wearing that sundress?
Hem that rode so high, as to invite the wind to lift her skirt.
If only to suggest that more than your eyes are welcome
to venture past the loose seams,
along the torn lace
into something more delicious.

Late nights.. that bled into early mornings. For my Women:

Sat, 25 May 2013 19:38:00 -0700

I’ve spent a good portion of my week talking to women.

Strong women, who feel weak.

Weak because of their work situation… their love situation. Their Life situation.

If you feel like you encapsulate any one of these categories, I’m here to remind you… that you aren’t weak.

That are you’re amazing, you’re lovely.
You are fucking Beautiful…

and you’re more than your whack ass dude…. or your shitty job..

you are better than you will ever give yourself credit for.

and if anyone in your life doesn’t see or value your worth…. fuck them…

They aren’t, nor will they ever be, worth your time.

Be around people who cherish you. People who hold you up. Who are genuinely about it.

And if you ever forget… You have my number…

Call me anytime.

Spring/Summer Cleaning

Thu, 23 May 2013 22:26:54 -0700

I’ve been overextending myself lately. Calling more, reaching out more. Making myself appear eager, when all I want is genuine friendships, honest relationships.

Maybe I care more, maybe not. Maybe they’re scared, maybe we all are.

It’s tiring. So much so that I’m really close to letting go of those relationships, no matter how enjoyable they are.

They do not serve me beyond the now. They do not initiate, or try enough to make me feel that there is a genuine reciprocity there.

Rule of thumb, call sometime, communicate first, check in, invest more.. The act of doing, will always say much more than your words.

An Invitation to Be Real Friends.

Thu, 16 May 2013 11:23:35 -0700

Dear ___________,
I know I only met you momentarily
I know we only talk occasionally.
But I want more.
To know more… to hear more.
To give more.
I want you to drive…
I’ll meet you half way.
Let’s have breakfast in Big Sur.
Take a nap in the shade and sleep under the stars.

Sincerely,
me

After four hours of sleep and 6 hours of work… I need a bed and a hug…. Or a good cup of...

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:09:31 -0700

After four hours of sleep and 6 hours of work… I need a bed and a hug…. Or a good cup of coffee.

Do you know where I can find one?

thank

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:20:15 -0700

you.

to all the senders
of late night calls
and early morning messages.
to the people
who share momentary
murmurings
and extended inquiries.
to the friends
who give, just as much as they take.
who don’t see relationships
as an inconvenience.
who require holding just as much as
leaning.
who call just to see if you’re ok
once a month.
once a week.
everyday.

thank you.
thank you.
thank
you.

mothers day.

Sun, 12 May 2013 21:01:41 -0700

today i called her.
she said hello, and i wished her a happy mothers day.
she told me how she was doing.
i told her how my life was going.
she asked me about my future.
i told her i was moving.
that i was unsure. that i felt lost.
her voice became heavy.
her tone ached.
she apologized.
i don’t think i ever felt a sorry so painful in my life.
she wished more for me
i couldn’t help but break.
so she let go.
if only not hurt us more.

Maybe…

Sun, 12 May 2013 20:52:58 -0700

Maybe…

connotativewords: December 5, 2012 Wow.

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:10:56 -0700

connotativewords:

December 5, 2012

Wow.

You, Tania, are my chaos. It is why I sing. It is not even I, it is the world dying, shedding the...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:22:58 -0700

You, Tania, are my chaos. It is why I sing. It is not even I, it is the world dying, shedding the skin of time. I am still alive, kicking in your womb, a reality to write upon.
-Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer)

This is a before and after series of porn stars with and...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 23:04:57 -0700

This is a before and after series of porn stars with and without makeup (Makeup and photos by xmelissamakeupx)

I’ll just let that sink in with all of my followers who have low self esteem due to their appearance.

I want to know what make up they are using.Since the last time this went around my contour and highlight game has improved significantly, but still get under eye creases with the concealer by the end of the day.

“I am the most tired woman in the world. I am tired when I get up. Life requires an effort I cannot...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:08:24 -0700

“I am the most tired woman in the world. I am tired when I get up. Life requires an effort I cannot make. Please give me that heavy book. I need to put something heavy like that on top of my head. I have to place my feet under the pillows always, so as to be able to stay on earth. Otherwise I feel myself going away, going away at a tremendous speed, on account of my lightness. I know that I am dead. As soon as I utter a phrase my sincerity dies, becomes a lie whose coldness chills me. Don’t say anything, because I see that you understand me, and I am afraid of your understanding. I have such a fear of finding another like myself, and such a desire to find one! I am so utterly lonely, but I also have such a fear that my isolation be broken through, and I no longer be the head and ruler of my universe. I am in great terror of your understanding by which you penetrate into my world; and then I stand revealed and I have to share my kingdom with you.”
-Anais Nin